Bite-Sized Boogers and Burps

Ooh, that title sounds kind of nasty, doesn’t it? Ah, well, such is my life.

Since it is now 2 a.m. and I desperately need some sleep but want to let my peeps know what’s been happening around these parts, I’m going to give you snippets of my day:

  • Woke up with yet ANOTHER low-grade fever. People, it’s been off and on now for something like 3 weeks! Had bloodwork done a couple weeks ago–all normal. Then why must I feel like I’ve been run over by a garbage truck every cotton-pickin’ day? The Internets didn’t help either. According to my trusted online sources, I either have Rat Bite Fever (I kid you not) or cancer. How comforting.
  • After coughing the ENtire night, Boy #1 got up for the day at 4:15 a.m. and asked me to come downstairs with him and watch TV. Being the mean mom I am, I said no. Poor guy coughed all morning until his chest was completely sore. Finally got into the doctor at 2:00. Bad case of bronchitis. Prescribed antibiotic, steroid, and strong cough medicine. Nebulizer treatment when we got home. Winter has officially arrived.
  • Fortunately, my lovely sister picked up Boy #2 for school this morning since I was feeling like garbage. In typical Boy #2 fashion, he was running late and we couldn’t find his coat. Did I mention that it’s like 20 degrees out and there’s snow covering the ground? So I ran to the basement (while my sister sat in the driveway) and grabbed his older brother’s old coat which is about two sizes too big. Still can’t find the coat…
  • Too tired to take Boy #3 all the way across town to daycare so let him stay home with us sickies. Late morning I noticed that the black turtleneck he was wearing had a huge hole in the front. HUGE. I could see his entire abdomen. When I asked him what happened to his shirt, how did he respond? “It broke.” Of course. It couldn’t have anything to do with the pair of scissors I found out of their drawer coincidentally lying right where he was playing…Nope. It just “broke.” I hate it when that happens.
  • In the midst of trying to make lunch while feeling yucky and listening to one of my son’s hack up a lung and another whine “I want cereal!!!”, I got a phone call. This is how it went down.
    Me: Hello?
    Strange Woman: Hi. How are you?
    Me: Okay. How are you? (Wondering if I should know this person whose voice I can’t recall)
    Strange Woman: We we just sitting here talking about if things will get better someday. Do you think God will make everything better someday?
    Me: Uh, yeah…
    Strange Woman: Yeah, me too. I know that God’s going to come back and make the world better. And we were just reading from the Bible about it. Do you read the Bible?
    Me: Uh, yeah…
    Strange Woman: Oh, good! Do you mind if I share some of these scriptures with you? About the end times? Do you have time?
    Me: Yeah, not really. Because I have no idea who you are but I’m pretty sure you’re a wacko I have a sick child I’m taking care of.
    Strange Woman: Would you mind if I called you back another time then?
    Me: Go away, crazy lady!!!Uh, okay. (I am SUCH a pushover.)
    Strange Woman: Great! And what is your name?
    Me: Paula (Seriously?!? She didn’t even know who she was calling? Did she just pick up the phone and dial a random number to start preaching to? Or does this have something to do with my friend the Jehovah’s Witness? Note to self: Do NOT drink the red Kool-Aid if offered!)

Must go to bed. Good news! All is silent. No coughing to be heard. Better get some sleep while I can…


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