Category: Laughs

The Accidental Octogenarian

I’m officially 80 years old. I must be. There’s no other explanation for what happened this week. There I was, walking down the hall before school, like any other day, innocently heading to the teacher’s lounge to score me some of that gourmet Folgers or Yuban community coffee (whatever...

The Stress of Going Back to School

So that’s it. Gone are the days of elementary school conferences and cookie dough fundraisers. I’m officially the mom of a middle school, a high school and a college student. Boy #3 turned 13 a few weeks ago, so I’m a full-fledged mom of teens — until January when...

A Letter of Apology to My Pants

Dear Pants, I’m sorry I got your hopes up this morning. I know I set you up for disappointment when I laid you out last night, ready to wear to work on my first day back from spring break. And even though I tried you on this morning, only to...

Pride Comes Before the Fall

It’s spring break, and instead of lounging on the beach, umbrella drink in hand, I’ve opted to spend it at home, toilet brush in hand. (And when I say “I’ve opted to,” you know what I really mean is, “My checking account has decided for me.”) And just to add insult...

Let’s All Go to the Movies

Whoever thought it would be a good idea to go to the mall to see a movie on the day after Christmas was kind of an idiot. Oh, I guess that was me. After pulling in to the parking lot and realizing that it was waaaaay more packed than...

At the Car Wash

You may be thinking, "How could anyone be anxious about the car wash?" And I will answer with a hearty, "Good question!" But I am, and it's officially gone from bad to worse. After last week, I have actually vowed that I will never enter another car wash again....

It’s Spring Break and I’m Spring Broke

So, here I am. Tuesday of my Spring Break. It’s 6:30 p.m. and I’m sitting in our second-hand recliner with a sleeping dog drinking a cup of coffee (I am, not the dog) and downing some Double-Stuff Oreos. Living. The. Dream. Trying really hard not to log in to...

Why I suck at Leap Year

Leap Year should be a holiday. A real holiday. It should be a holiday where everyone stays home from work and takes care of those things they have always been meaning to do or have good intentions to do, but "just don't have time."...