Happy @&?%#ing May Day!
Oh, crap. It’s May Day. Does anyone else think that this holiday was created just to make us frazzled moms feel even guiltier? It happens every year. It’s not that I don’t realize that May 1st comes after April 30; I just always seem to have other things on my mind and it’s not until I come home and find our porch filled with beautifully bedazzled May baskets overflowing with popcorn, candy, and flowers that I give May Day any thought. Then it’s straight to my cupboard to see what I can scrounge up to appease the guilt gods. Let’s see…If you find a sytrofoam cup (YES, I care about the environment, but they’re cheap!) filled with the following items, you’ll know it’s from us:
stale Peeps left over from Easter
Canine Carryouts (Beef flavored!)
a slightly bruised apple
Ding-Dong! “Oh, kids, we got a May Basket…I think…”
Last night my 6-year-old said, “Mom! It’s May Day tomorrow. Remember??!!?” And I just said, “It’s time you knew. At our house on May Day we just receive. We don’t give.” So we will be upholding our tradition of receiving again this year.
Seriously, I HATE that holiday. They should just be honest and call it “Guilt Day” instead.
(P.S. Hey, Nochickensinmyhair, how does it work when your son’s b-day is actually on May Day? You’d better not say you still give out May baskets. If you do, I’m going to send Turkeypants up there to play you “Joker” on the trombone while your daughter is napping.)
Yes, nochickensinmyhair, if you give May baskets on your kid’s birthday, you will officially be kicked out of the “Sucky Moms Club.” Sorry, but rules are rules.
When I was a kid May Basket Day was a BIG event…and year after year it was about the closest I ever saw my folks heading for Divorce Court. They would load 4 of us in the car complete with a box of a gajillion May Baskets to be delivered. When Dad would turn a corner, most of the baskets would fall over and Mom would make some comment (which you know is so unlike her)…and the fun would continue with someone falling and skinning a knee or jamming their face into the car…trying to get in rather than being caught and kissed!! (How traumatic!!) and sad to realize that I was kissed more on May Basket Day than all the days in High School! But enough about my social life. So why did I continue this with my own girls…just another symptom of my many mental and emotional diseases. When we moved south, nobody was celebrating May Basket Day, except the 3 little P girls. Let’s just say that Sandye K was NOT amused 🙂
By the way I voted for Orange Blossom Special because Dueling Recorders was not an option.
PS I’ve already tried to send this message once already…my computer senses fear.
This comment just took me 5 tried to send. I’m pitiful!
What!?!?! People still make/give May Day baskets!?!?! I’m so shocked!! I thought this was one of those holiday past-times that had just plain retired. (Kind of like Easter bonnets–or do your kids still make those, too?) I don’t know…considering I live in a town that one of my husband’s co-workers seriously referred to as “Mayberry,” I say that since May Day baskets are dead here, they really shouldn’t exist anywhere.
Also, please don’t cancel my membership to the Sucky Moms Club. I spend this holiday every year frantically trying to find stuff to cram into a bunch of goody bags (if you call a white lunch sack a goody bag–yes, I splurge and don’t buy the brown kind) for a bunch of my son’s hyper friends that are coming on the weekend for a party. So, the only way I’d be giving out May Day baskets this year would be if they were stuffed with Star Wars party favors. Although, I do like the idea of just filling baskets with what’s around the house. I could throw in a used pair of vampire teeth and some beef broth.
India is here to help me. I’m going to try to post this sucker on the first try.
Hey, save those stale Peeps for me.