Hello?? Is anybody there??

Ahem. (*cough*) Is this thing on? (*crickets chirping*) Okay…uh…Hi. Welcome to my first blog entry. If you’ve stumbled upon this blog by mistake, well, I’m sorry. And if you actually meant to read this, I just have to say—Seriously?! You’re reading this on purpose? I’m not sure whether to be flattered or frightened!

It’s 10:30 on a Monday night and I’m sitting at a kitchen table filled with an eclectic mix of the following: an empty Coke can (NO, I don’t mean Diet!), a bottle of Ozark white distilled vinegar, summer camp forms, a can of PerfectDuster air, a nearly gone bowl of Cookie Crisp cereal (I meant to say, ALL BRAN, of course), a hand-written list of the gems I need to collect to complete my Webkinz Crown of Wonder, 6 pretzel sticks, and a bottle of Tobasco sauce. If that’s not a conducive environment for producing an inaugural blog entry, I don’t know what is!

Why start a blog, you may ask? Well, the first reason is because every time I tell my mom a story about my day, which usually involves me being really embarrassed about something one of my boys said or did, she tells me, “You need to put that in your book!” After hearing that now for at least three years, I am convinced that she thinks I really do HAVE a book, and at this point I’m not sure how to break it to her that I don’t. I figure having a blog is the next-best thing to having a book (plus, I don’t really need a story, an agent, or talent), and I think I can retrain her fairly easily to say instead, “You need to put that in your blog!”

The second reason for starting a blog was because I had recently been looking for freelance writing jobs, and I was starting to feel like a big loser because I didn’t have “blog-writing experience,” which was required on nearly every posting! So, yes, I’m basically using you to beef up my resume. I have no shame.

Well, I guess that’s that. If you’re still with me and your eyes haven’t yet burned from reading such drivel, thanks for humoring me! It’s after midnight, and this chick’s gotta go to bed (I mean, I’ve got to go check out that new dance club downtown!)…aw, who am I kidding? No matter how hard I try, I will never live up to my idol’s standards. Britney’s set the “mom” bar WAY too high. (*sigh*)


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