iPhone Apps (I’d Like to See) for Moms of Boys

Posted On May 4, 2010

So, I’ve had my iPhone for a year, and already I’ve reverted back to old habits. Old-school habits, that is.

Yep, I pretty much use my phone just to send and receive calls. Once in a while I text or play Moxie (my current obsession word game of choice). But really, I use about 3% of my phone’s technological capacity. (I totally made up that percentage, by the way. I feel obligated to disclose that since I’m married to a math teacher.)

I was just giving my iPhone some much-needed attention, which included deleting stupid apps my kids have installed (but not SmackTalk!, which totally makes me laugh. A talking hamster in a squeaky voice? Hello?!) and completing the 26 app updates that were pending.

My poor, poor neglected iPhone.

I think part of the problem is that I get a bit overwhelmed with the sheer number of available apps for my mobile device. Some of them are really helpful. As a disorganized working mom, a few that I have found helpful are:

• Grocery Gadget — a handy way to create, save, and share grocery or other shopping lists
• Hazel Mail — lets you take a picture and send it as a real, old-school postcard. Super idea for vacations and for keeping in touch with grandparents.
• Night Stand — makes me do math problems to make sure I get up in the mornings. The wonderful bastard.
• DirecTV — If we forget to program the DVR to tape 30 Rock or Community, we can do it from wherever we are. This lovely app has saved us more than once. Because no one wants to see Mommy if she hasn’t had her Liz Lemon and Pierce fix.
• Mover — Husband and I can literally “move” files and photos from one phone to another, or from a phone to my laptop. Works with anyone who has an iPhone and/or Mac and dowloads the app.
• Colorama — This has been so nice to have when we’ve had unexpected waits in restaurants or doctor offices. It’s basically a virtual coloring book. The boys use it once in a while too! *smile*
• ArcadeBowl — The boys like playing this skeeball game to pass the time. The best part? There’s no longer a reason to take them to Chuck E. Cheese’s!

But as nice as these apps are, there are some other apps that I could really use, that could really make my life easier as a mom of boys. So app developers, take note! Here are my picks:

• Lie Catcher — You know how they have apps that allow you to use your iPhone to scan barcodes at stores and check prices at other stores? (I have RedLaser) Well, I’d like to be able to use my iPhone to scan, say, my kids’ retinas to detect if they are lying about having homework, calling their brother a name or throwing the GoGurt wrapper on the living room floor.
• The Scold-inator 3000 — (I’m beginning to sound like Dr. Doofenshmirtz) I could also really use an automatic parental response generator that can deliver an appropriate rebuke depending on the situation, such as, “The couch is not a trampoline,” “Seriously, use a kleenex, not your finger” or “You are way too old to run around outside in your underwear!” This would save my voice and, quite possibly, my sanity.
• The Handy-Dandy Rash Detector — Since at least one of my boys is always covered in some sort of mysterious rash, a “rash for boys” guide could really help me out. It could show pictures of poison ivy, poison sumac, impetigo,  heat rash, eczema, or ringworm so I could just hold up my phone to the affected kid until I find a match. If it could somehow squirt out the appropriate cream, maybe from the charging port, that would be the icing on the rash cake.
• Tween Translator — Did your 6th grader just call you a “newb”? Did he just tell you you’re going to get “pwned,” and you weren’t sure whether to be worried or buy a new outfit for the occasion? Well, the Tween Translator could be the app to bridge the generational gap between you and your pre-pubescent offspring. The “premium” edition could translate text talk as well, which could come in handy when you’re logging on to your kid’s Facebook account and reading his chat history. (Not that I would know anything about that…)

So if any app developers are reading this (and why wouldn’t they be, come on!), please seriously consider my app proposals. They would really make my life easier, and, as we all know, it is all about me.