Me? A Soccer Mom? Surely You Jest!

Move over, Péle. There’s another soccer player in town.
(Okay, I’m pretty sure Péle doesn’t play soccer anymore, but I can’t think of another male soccer player and am too lazy to take two seconds to google one. So there ya go. “Péle” it is.)

So I officially got sworn in as a “soccer mom” this weekend. Speaking of swearing, I swore I would never get caught up in the suburban mania known as “club soccer.” Those kids with the funny long socks and the parents wearing their team parkas screaming from the sidelines of one of the many “mini” fields swimming in a sea of green at our local sports complex.


Well, in this case, I guess “never” means “at least until my middle son begs me for three years to play, buys a soccer training system with his own money, and tells everyone that he’s going to be a soccer player when he grows up.”

In other words, “until I am overcome with guilt.”

I guess that IF Boy #2 is going to be a soccer player when he grows up (AND a police officer), he MIGHT need some actual INSTRUCTION in the game. And possibly some PRACTICE. Maybe a TEAM to play with. *Sigh.*

So we bit the bullet and signed him up, feeling we may have just sold a piece of our souls.

I’m happy to announce, however, that so far, so good. He’s got an excellent coach who seems to be an amazing player in his own right and a great bunch of boys to play with. Boy #2 seems really excited to learn new skills and be part of the team.

After his first practice, Husband told Boy #2, “You did pretty well tonight!” And how do you think Mr. Humble responded?

“Well, you know, I’ve pretty much been playing my whole life!” said as matter-of-factly as a six-and-a-half-year-old can. (And, I’m guessing, with a Napoleon Dynamite accent.) (“Like anyone can even know that, Napoleon!”)

Trying to suppress a smile, Husband said, “You have, huh?”

“Well, at least since I was four-and-a-half,” Boy #2 added.

Saturday was the first game, and with only two practices under his belt, Boy #2 was struggling with the learning curve a bit at first. You know, straggling along at the back of the pack, unsure which way to run or kick the ball. However, he quickly caught on and gained some confidence, speeding up and even getting a smidgen aggressive! Here he is “in action.” (He’s the one in the back of the pack of maroon jerseys.)

Here he is kicking in the ball from the corner. (There is probably some term for this, some “technical soccer term,” but since I am a soccer newbie, I’m clueless.)

Here is what he spent the majority of the game doing while he waited for the ball to come to him.

I guess he has a loose tooth or something?? I’m assuming that since he didn’t think it was cool for soccer players to suck their thumbs, which is his usual oral fixation of choice, he went with wiggling his tooth. NONSTOP.

He did manage, however, to remove his fingers from his mouth long enough to break away with the ball (I think it’s called “dribbling”?) and actually make a goal! I stood up and screamed “GOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!” like the announcers do during the World Cup.

Okay, just kidding about that. I’m pretty sure it’s against some soccer club regulation to embarrass your kid like that. But I really wanted to.

So there you have it. We’ve paid the club dues. We’ve bought the Size 3 ball. We’ve purchased the shin guards, socks, shoes, and uniform. Next purchase? One of those little decals to put in the back window of my van that says “Soccer Mom.”

Man, I am SUCH a cliché!

14 thoughts on “Me? A Soccer Mom? Surely You Jest!”

  1. You went to the dark side? *gasp!* Just kidding! :p Congrats to Boy #2 on his goal, though.

    Em wants to play soccer. Unfortunately we haven't had the money to sign her up yet. But then, I'm hoping the phase will pass & she'll change her mind. She's asked two years in a row, though. Ugh…

    Hope he has a good time!

  2. Not throwing any guilt your way but we didn’t have anything to do Saturday….didn’t know about the game. May I have a schedule? You know we always try to support our grandkids even if it is soccer! Good pics….he looks cute in his uniform.

  3. Wow, a goal already!! That’s quite an acomplishment. I’m a soccer Mom too, times 2, this year my youngest is in the U6 group along with Miles in U10. I just love those cold mornings, surrounded by corn fields and wrapped in blankets. lol

    BTW, that kick from the corner…ironically that’s called a corner kick. And you were right about the dribbling!!

  4. 1. I’m impressed that you put the little accent mark over the e in Pele.

    2. It’s a corner kick.

    3. At least he wasn’t picking his nose.

    4. Great post!

  5. WOW!! Good for #2. He has been talking about soccer for a looong time. We will be anxious to watch him. And the good news, I probably know as much about soccer as I do about football.

  6. Welcome to the club! Boo took this past year off soccer, but now wants to go back. It is fun…I just know NOTHING about the sport. I just yell go Boo!! over and over again. lol

  7. Good for Boy #2 for making his first goal! Talent and a love for the game is all you need to succeed!

    David Beckham has managed to become very successful as a professional soccer player, so you never know.

    Would it be in bad taste to scream from the sidelines, "Go win mommy a condo!"? Probably.


  8. Ummm even I knew David Beckham, and I probably know less about sports than anyone on the planet lol I do like to watch college basketball, however, does that count? They both say “dribble,” anyway 🙂

    So glad boy 2 is having so much fun. Sorry you had to sell your soul!

  9. Welcome to the club (both the “soccer mom” club and club soccer). I have three boys in soccer this year, but only one in club soccer. My oldest decided to drop club and just play for the high school team this year. I’m a little sad because he’s been playing since preschool. And my youngest isn’t old enough for club yet. Our first team is the U9 team and he’s only 6. Have fun cheering your little guy on.

  10. Oh lordie- you are not! 😉

    I loathe soccer- Thank Goodness one of my girles never wanted to play (too much- because Brielle has mentioned it but only sporadically) so I have been a cheer mom, a girl scout leader and a PTO treasurer(almost as cliche as a soccer mom) but this year I have ’em in gymnastics, and dance…so far. 🙂

    It doesn’t sound as bad as one woulkd imagine though- by your description…enjoy!

  11. Welcome to the rest of your life! Because if it isn’t soccer it will be football, WRESTLING!, golf, and baseball.

    Of course, my son (who has played soccer for three years) is not playing this year. Because his scattered brain mom forgot to sign him up. He took it pretty well.

    And of course, it is more pages for you to scrapbook. 🙂

  12. Just looking at the blog again and I so tall in his soccer uniform.
    Anxious to see a game. Didn’t #1 do soccer before he was in school? I seem to remember a game in a gym…and him totally smiling and waving at us from the “field” (floor). 🙂

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