My Class Reunion Priorities

So, my 20-year 5-year class reunion is in a week and a half. Funny how my priorities change. A year ago I thought, “I should lose 15 pounds before the reunion.” And what have I done to accomplish that? Does eating an entire bag of mini Reese’s Pieces (the ones that are in the baking section because they are supposed to actually be used IN BAKING) count? No? Well, then apparently I haven’t done one thing.

And now it seems I have a bigger problem than my expanding arse on the horizon . . . a face breakout of major proportions.

Why is it that I did not have any problems with acne or breakouts when I was actually IN high school, but now I look like I could be a “before” model for a Clearasil commercial? It’s really not fair. (I so hate my cute, skinny, zit-free 18-year-old self. She thinks she’s soooo cool with her clear skin and her teased-up bangs.)

So now, I’m resigning myself to the fact that notwithstanding a bout of dysentery (my fingers are still crossed), I will not shed any pounds before the reunion. I’ve got my extra-strength girdle ready to go and am looking for a shirt that will 1) hide my stomach without 2) making me look pregnant. If you’re a middle-aged woman like myself, you know there is a super-fine line right now in the fashion world between having people wonder when you got so trendy and having people wonder when you’re due.

The priority has now shifted, then, to what to do about this face.

Doesn’t every woman dream of sashaying into her 20th class reunion with a face covered in scabs?

Suggestions? (Note: It will likely be too hot for a ski mask.)

6 thoughts on “My Class Reunion Priorities”

  1. Oh I feel for you. My 20 year reunion I was 8 months pregnant with Brenna. And Doug was helping my brother move his family to DC for a year (he was stationed there for National Guard). So I would show up pregnant and alone. Given that I was a wild child in high school it would have appeared that I was pregnant and alone. Not really what I was going for. So I skipped it. Not a big deal, really, since I hadn’t been to my 5, 10 or 15 year reunions, either.

    On to the breakouts… I wish I had an answer as I am experiencing the same thing. No zits as a teen and now my face looks like I’m hitting puberty while working over a fryer at McDonalds. Ick!

    And, about your rear, I’m trying out the Girls Room tomorrow night for a free class. Wanna come?
    Jody´s last blog post ..5 New York City Tips for the First Time Visitor

  2. You are hilarious Paula! Your skin is beyond beautiful (I have skin envy!) and no zit can ruin that.

    My reunion is coming up in a couple of weeks as well.. the first one I have been able to attend. Yikes.

  3. My 15 is this Saturday. The girl who planned it didn’t really plan anything. She found a park and called a bar. Yeah. I’m not going. I figure those I want to keep in touch with I already do. The rest can suck an egg.

  4. I think we’re fortunate to have a really close class; everyone pretty much got along, no matter which “crowd” they ran with. So I’m hoping to see some people I haven’t seen in a while. But I know we’re kind of an anomaly. I think most people feel the way you do about reunions! 🙂

  5. I can totally relate. It is not any fun to have zits, wrinkles, and gray hair. Something is so wrong about that. I can also feel your pain in trying to find clothes that do not make me look like I am in my fist trimester! So awkward!

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