My Life Is a Cliché

Yesterday was one of those days where you just throw your hands up and say, “Really? All of this in one day?” Nothing catastrophic or particularly tragic, just your typical “bad day.” And guess what? It was Monday. How cliché could I possibly be?

It started out with Boy #3 not wanting to go to daycare. Who can blame him? He’s had two weeks home between the infirmary we were running two weeks ago and Spring Break last week. To be honest, I could’ve easily stayed in my pajamas all day and snuggled with him, but funny thing, no one wants to pay me for that, so I had to go bring home the bacon. So I bribed Boy #3 with a donut from the gas station and got him into the van. Of course, it was raining. Hard. And of course my fuel light came on, so I had to fill up in the middle of a downpour. And when I was inside purchasing the chocolate long john and paying for my gas, it started hailing. I guess spring has officially sprung!

After getting nailed with ice pellets, I got back into the van and got Boy #3 to daycare without much drama. (He had a donut. He was content.) Got back in the van and drove the half-hour to work in the rain.

When I sat down in my office with a view cubicle, I checked my email and saw a message from Boy #1’s teacher. He was informing me that Boy #1’s lunch account was so low that he was going to have to eat a “sack lunch” from food service if I didn’t deposit money in his account before lunchtime. Super. That’s not embarrassing or anything. And the fact is that I had put money is his account during Spring Break, but apparently the message hadn’t made it from the online pay system to the elementary office yet. Can you say “honyock?”

Then I read an email from a colleague who works off-site, and I knew it was going to be a fantabulous day at work. Nothing like firing emails back and forth, trying to create an undertone of bitchiness to get your point across without getting fired in the process!

I ran to Walgreen’s over lunch and came back to find my monitor flickering. Wouldn’t even shut off, so I had to crawl underneath my desk and unplug it. I emailed our IT gal and had her come look at it. What did she do? Unplugged the little cord from my computer and plugged it back in. Yeah, it worked. Did I feel like a big dork? Yes. Fortunately, she’s sweet and didn’t make me feel too stupid.

Then I went to use my cell phone, and IT won’t work. Husband’s just went on the fritz too. Apparently being able to dial or use any of my buttons is just too much to ask. I swear they put these things on a timer so that right when your two-year contract is up, they can sucker you into ANOTHER two years to get a “deal” on a replacement phone.

Mid-afternoon, my sister called me and reminded me that I had a meeting that evening at the middle school. (I cannot believe I will soon have a “middle school” child. Not that he doesn’t already ACT like a hormonal tween, but still…it’s hard to pretend like you’re still a hip twenty-something when you’re attending middle school PTA meetings!)

Right before I left work, I realized I had forgotten to do something very important. What is that, you ask? Oh, nothing much. Just TURN IN MY TIMESHEET. I guess I love my job so much that I don’t even care if they PAY me to do it! So I’m thinking that come Friday I will NOT be receiving my two-week check like the rest of the office. That’s going to be good for the budget.

Driving home from work, I finally managed to get the buttons on my phone to work so I could dial home and tell hubby that I would be there for exactly two minutes before leaving to attend the meeting at the middle school. I was telling him all about my lovely day when I noticed something else—a crack in my windshield. FABulous. That was NOT there on Saturday when I drove it. Hmm…and I recall that I caught Boys #2 and #3 on top of the van on Sunday when they were “playing outside.” Coincidence? You be the judge.

I got home in time to run inside and go to the bathroom. (OH! I almost forgot—Aunt Flo paid me a “surprise visit” as well! Showed up at work, and I was completely unprepared. The linen closet was bare, so I had to go begging off a coworker like I’m in junior high.) Then, as my sister is sitting in the driveway to pick me up, I realize that my zipper on my pants is stuck and will not go up all the way. Husband tried—no dice. So I just pulled my shirt down a bit lower and went on my merry way, zipper halfway down.

The meeting started out fine but then my sister had to write me a note that caused me to lose all concentration for the rest of the meeting: Is he Michael Scott? Yes, the middle school principal not only looks like Michael Scott from The Office, but also talks and acts like Michael Scott (only less inappropriate). So from then on I was snickering in my head every time he talked because I could totally picture Michael Scott standing up in front of Dwight, Meredith, Phyllis, and the gang saying the same thing. I am so mature. And add that to the fact that someone sitting around me smelled like she hadn’t washed her hair in two weeks (I’m not trying to be mean, but I had to literally hold my breath the entire time.) and I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

Finally got home, saw that the dog had peed on the floor, read to the boys, ate supper at 9:15, and went to check my emails and blogs. Yep, now my wireless wouldn’t work. No internet, no email, nothing. Why should I be surprised? Hubby worked on it for about 20 minutes and finally got it working. What a good boy. I think he knew that in order to salvage my sanity, he needed to try to make it work. And a crazy mommy does not make for a happy household! ( I can speak from experience.)

So there was my Manic Monday, from the Bangles’ lips to your ears (or eyes, I suppose). Hope yours was better!

Kitty-cat photo from benkoboris


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