My Weekend (in the Nut House) in a Nutshell

Posted On July 22, 2008

Hey, you!

I’ve missed you!

How ya been?

Seems like forever since we talked! (Or, well, since we interacted via the Internets anyway…)

How’s this for missing you? I was up at 4:20 this morning because I needed to catch up on you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you! (And you too; I’m not forgetting you!)

What? You think that’s actually kind of sad? It’s okay; I fully admit that I have no life.

So let me catch you up on the happenings at the nut house (otherwise known as the place I call “home”). I know you’ve been losing sleep wondering what we’ve been up to! Let’s see…Friday night…Oh, yes. Boy #2 had been asking for his cousin, who is also 6, to have a sleepover with him, so Friday was the day. So Cousin came over, bags packed, after I got home from work. My sister was surprised because she didn’t even wait for HER to get home from work so she could say good-bye! Nope, she was ready to roll and no looking back. So Cousin and Boy #2 played (somewhat reluctantly) with Boy #3 and soon became nothing but a whirlwind of Webkinz, castle dragons, and Legos. You can imagine the aftermath!

Later that evening I went to pick up Boy #3’s early birthday present, courtesy of craigslist! We had been looking for a playset or jungle gym so the boys would have something to play in the backyard (and so we wouldn’t always have to mooch off the neighbors’ playsets), but, man, are they expensive! So I was thrilled to find this Little Tikes Jungle Climber only a couple miles away for less than half the price of a new one! It’s in awesome shape, and even though it’s not real huge or anything, the kids have already had a blast on it. It’s even been a jail! What more could you want?

Saturday was designated the day we “shovel out our hovel,” but it soon became apparent that if Husband and I had to spend the entire day breaking up fights, yelling at the kids to pick up what they had JUST DRUG OUT let alone what has been on the floor since they drug it out LAST WEEK, one of two things was going to happen:
1. The house house would not get clean. OR
2. Someone would not live to see Sunday.

Since we really DID want the house to get clean and we really DO love our kids and want to keep all of them as long as God will allow, we decided to call for backup: in this case, my parents. Soon, I was headed south on the Interstate with three kids, a bag full of clothes, and a new outlook on the weekend. After meeting my mom at our designated “half-way point,” I headed back home, and Husband and I got down to business.

No, I don’t mean THAT business!

I MEAN, cleaning our bedroom. Sheesh! Now, I just have one question: Should it really take 3 1/2 HOURS to clean your bedroom? Well, that’s what it took us. Both of us. Working together. It was that bad. And the things we found. Honestly, were we sleeping in a bedroom, a toy store, or the local landfill? I’m not sure… But now it’s CLEAN! And it will STAY CLEAN as if my life depends on it! (And after this weekend, I’m pretty sure it does!) The kids now know that they have to “be invited” into our room. It’s no longer the free-for-all Chuck E. Cheese’s that they thought it was. I have to suppress my smile, though, when Boy #3 peeks his head in the doorway and asks, “Am I invited?” Then I look at his sweet, innocent face and yell, “NO!” Just kidding! Well, sometimes…

We managed to get the downstairs cleaned as well, including the laundry room (yeesh!) and the office, otherwise known as “Paper Trail Hell.” As Mr. Rogers would say, “It was a good feeling.” It’s amazing how much more relaxing cleaning is without children. I daresay it was even—FUN—at times. (Or was it the couple of beers I had, followed by the trip to Wal-Mart to get a mop where I secretly slipped a folder with Troy from High School Musical into Husband’s hand when he was mesmerized by the new calculators! Oh, that made me laugh!)

Sunday morning was filled with church and teaching Sunday School to preschoolers. (Where, by the way, THE cutest 3-year-old said, “Teacher? Teacher?” while I was giving the lesson. I stopped and said, “Yes, honey?” to which she answered, “I love you!” Seriously, why wouldn’t everyone want to teach 3-year-olds??) After church, it was home for some more cleaning, including trying, unsuccessfully, to mop up the half-gallon of blue specialty wire-haired dog shampoo that the kids had spilled on their bathroom tile earlier in the week. I finally gave up and shut the door after the bathtub was full of suds and the floor was still blue. We may have to burn that room down and start over…

Then at 5:00 (otherwise known as “the geezer dinner hour”) we met Mom and Dad at Famous Dave’s for some BBQ. Mmm… BBQ…And the best part? It was THEIR TREAT! Who can beat that? Especially considering we can’t even get out of McDonald’s without spending $25.

So then it was home, work on the kids’ rooms with them a bit, and head to bed. That is, until 3:15 a.m. When Husband and I were awakened by a sound that resembled that of the tornado siren. Oh, yes. It was. So we aroused the 3 boys and stumbled to the basement, which is next on the to-do list. Why? Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because we could barely find a 6-inch space in which we could sit and listen to the wind howl and rain pound against the egress window. And because we had to weave around a maze of old computer monitors, tubs of toys, and a broken light bulb to even get there.

Then it got even better. The power went out. Oh, I thought, it will come back on in a second. This never lasts long…

Yeah, right. So we were huddled in the basement, surrounded by mountains of crap, in the dark, and our only flashlight was in the back of the van in a tub that we STILL hadn’t brought in from our camping trip. A MONTH AGO. Are you surprised? Yeah, me neither.

Let’s just say that after we finally got the family back upstairs, all in our room of course (and they weren’t even “invited!”), I maybe got another 20 minutes of sleep.

And when I woke up, we STILL didn’t have power. In fact, little did I know that we WOULDN’T have power for another 10 1/2 hours! So my morning off was spent sweating and explaining ONCE AGAIN to the younger ones why they couldn’t watch TV or play their online games. “You mean the computer takes electricity TOO?!”

So when Husband returned from teaching his class at the community college, we packed our sweaty selves in the van and headed down to our hometown, where Husband and Boy #1 went golfing with Grandma, and I pulled (and pulled, and pulled!) on my swimsuit for the first time this season and took Boys 2 and 3 to the local pool. If the boys ever question if I really love them, all I will have to do is show them a photo of me in my swimsuit and say, “Do you really have to ask?”

We returned home last night about 9:00 to find every light in our house on, and a very loud whirring noise. On investigation, I found it was our vacuum, laying on its side, running away. It had been apparently been running this way for about 8 hours. Obviously the boys didn’t really BELIEVE me that we didn’t have electricity and proceeded to try out every light switch and appliance in the house!

Seriously, though, would you expect anything different from our house?

Here’s hoping you had a relaxing weekend!