That Oft-Told Parable of Jesus the Thug

Conversation that took place in the backseat of the Sentra yesterday afternoon after Boy #2 told some sort of lie, which has lately become his favorite hobby: Boy #3: Jesus and God doesn’t like it when you lie! (Actually pronounced, “why” by the 3-year-old.) Boy #2: Fine. Sorry, Jesus...

Damn you, swimsuit season. Damn you all to hell!

Okay, a quick post this morning to let you know I’m sending out an S.O.S. I want to lose 10 pounds by July 4. I need HELP! If any of you have any ideas that don’t involve exercising or changing what I eat, I’d love to hear from you....

It Ain’t Easy Being 3 (Or Being the Mom of a 3-Year-Old!)

Aaah, to be 3-almost-4. I’m trying to be patient, I really am. I know this is a time of newfound independence and testing boundaries. I know that 3-year-olds are like little Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde’s, perfectly pleasant one minute and ugly and downright frightening the next. I know...

7 Lessons I Learned Over Memorial Weekend

1. Four adults and five children in one hotel room is not as much fun as one might think.I know, I know. Four adults and five children (ages 10, 6, 5, 3, and 2) in one hotel room—sounds like an instant party right? Well, surprising as it may be,...

Dairy Queen—The Soliloquy

Does he frighten you? Does the sight of the chocolate ice cream dripping down the side of the cone and running down his arm make you want to defend yourself with a pair of rubber gloves and a bottle of 409? Would you lose sleep over the brown blob...

And it shall be called…Thriftilicious Thursday…

In an attempt to continue the charade that this is, indeed, a “real blog,” I am officially declaring a theme for my Thursday posts. Let it hereby be known that Thursdays will now be referred to as “Thriftilicious Thursdays.” And what will we do on Thriftilicious Thursdays, you may...

The Second-Most Humiliating Experience in P.E. Class, Next Only to Dodge Ball

Good news, everyone! The moment you’ve been waiting for—and feared would never happen—has FINALLY arrived…The chance to relive those cherished memories from junior high gym class (“middle school” for you damn twenty-somethings)…Yes, you guessed it…All adults are now able to…take…the…PRESIDENTIAL FITNESS TEST!!! I know, I know. Don’t be embarrassed....