Pop Quiz: My Weekend

Okay, quit groaning! (Sheesh—I feel like I’m a teacher again, standing front of semi-hostile-looking adolescents decked out in my nothing-says-I’m-a-teacher-like-a-denim-jumper outfit!)

I know I didn’t give you any time to study, but if you’ve been faithfully reading my blog like you’re supposed to be doing (Didn’t you get my syllabus?), you shouldn’t have a problem choosing the correct answers.

Okay, let’s begin.

1. On our date Friday night, did Husband and I…
a. go bar-hopping to all the latest hip clubs and dance the night away to techno music?
b. watch “Fireproof,” hand in hand, and then reaffirm our vows?
c. gorge ourselves at dinner and then stroll the aisles of Toys R Us?

2. At the matinee of “Bolt,” on Saturday, who cackled the loudest throughout the whole movie?
a. Boy #3
b. The mentally challenged man who had come with other residents and workers from the local assisted-living facility.
c. Me

3. Why didn’t I feel like eating pizza on Saturday night?
a. I’m dieting.
b. I only eat locally grown, organic foods.
c. I had wolfed down an extra-large tub of buttered popcorn at the movie and was beginning to feel the effects

4. What did I wake to in the middle of Saturday night?
a. A serenade outside the window from my lov-ah
b. The clean scent of Pine Sol from emanating from my immaculate bathroom
c. Boy #2 puking in his bed

5. Why will I never eat Kashi GOLEAN cereal again?
a. It is too fattening for me.
b. The doctor told me I need to put on a few pounds or I’m going to waste away.
c. It was discovered to be the source of a very disgusting bug infestation in our cupboard that will undoubtedly haunt me for life. (I just shuddered)

6. When helping Boy #3 clean his room this weekend, I found—
a. $6 in change.
b. peace and tranquility.
c. a petrified piece of dog poop.

7. Boy #2 spent most of Sunday—
a. cleaning his room.
b. reading quietly.
c. running around in nothing but Mickey Mouse underwear that is two sizes too small.

8. Who popped over for a surprise visit this weekend?
a. Molly Maids
b. Barack Obama
c. my new friend Jeremy, the Jehovah’s Witness missionary, who likes to bring my new material to read (which I actually do). (And no, I’m not converting, MOM. He’s just really nice and I hope someday I’ll be able to convert him.)

9. What fabulous meal did I whip up on Sunday?
a. turkey with all the trimmings
b. roast beef, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole
c. Lunchables or PB&J—kids’ choice

10. How much of my “To Do” list did I accomplish?
a. All of it!
b. Most of it!
c. “To Do” list? Yeah, right. I’m not even organized enough to make a list!

If you answered “c” to all of the questions, congratulations, you must know me well! If you didn’t, well, don’t worry. Just keep reading and you’re bound to do better next time! Hey—look at it this way, now knowing what my weekend was really like, you can feel better about your own life! It’s a little service I like to provide humanity.


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