Small-Town 4th of July Recap—Part II

If you haven’t relived the magic of my small-town 4th of July parade, you can find my recap here.

And now to continue the 4th of July mayhem . . .

Part II —

It would not be the 4th of July without carnival rides, and not just ANY carnival rides, mind you, I’m talking Kenny’s Funland carnival rides.

You know it’s classy when they’ve got Looney Tunes painted on their trailer! (I’m sure they’ve secured the license to use renderings of these characters too. Everything is BY THE BOOK at Kenny’s Funland!)

Kenny must either be 107 years old or started organizing carnivals as a toddler because this is the SAME carnival that has been coming to town since I was young. Fortunately, however, Kenny got smart and got rid of 1) the tattoo trailer, and 2) the “win a live rabbit” game. No good could have come from either attraction.

Kenny’s isn’t just ripping off Looney Tunes licensing. I think this is supposed to be Thing from Fantastic Four. I’m not really sure why “It’s Clobber Time” is painted on a semi that hauls carnival equipment, but, you know, I’ve never claimed to understand the whole carnival culture . . .

Hey, DC Comics called. They want their Superman back . . . oh, wait, no they don’t. Doesn’t it look like Superman has a bad case of the mumps here?

This was the first attraction my boys rode.

I made the mistake of looking underneath the ride. (Yep, it all looks up to safety standards to me!) So then I just concentrated on the worker running the ride.

This didn’t make me feel much better.

Nor did this guy make me feel particularly comfortable as he loaded two of my boys and my nephew onto the dragon roller coaster.

I think they needed to add something to the ride’s “Fun & Safety Guide” about watching out for falling ashes from the carny’s lit cigarette.

And then there were the games. Oh, how the parents loooove the games. Where else can you shell out $10 bucks or more so your kid can play some weird game that usually either involves weapons or looks like it could give you tetanus in the hopes of winning fabulous prizes such as these…

Brian’s grandma realized that she and the gnome were wearing the same shirt. How embarrassing!

This would’ve looked so great hanging in Boy #3′s room. Is there anything classier than helping your 5-year-old win a stuffed Playboy bunny? Can’t think of anything, can you? Didn’t think so!

And last year I showed you the scary monkey on the carousel.

Well, I think he must’ve joined a gang in the past year, because he was sporting a new look this time. And it sent shivers down my spine.

I wouldn’t want to meet that monkey in a dark alley.

There were some highlights to the festivities on the town square, though. Like the food.

This turkey leg was a big as Boy #3′s head!

I love how this tent nonchalantly featured “alligator” by the “drinks” and “popcorn,” like it was just your normal Iowa fair food. (And no, I did not try it!)

And I didn’t get to try this either, but I was loving the sign:

All in all, it was your typical small-town 4th of July weekend, dripping in sweat and Americana. And as always it made me proud to not only be an American, but also a Texan.

What the—?!

Yes, the Texas state flag was flying proudly on our square, IN IOWA. I’m assuming Kenny’s Funland had something to do with it, but it did seem just a little bit out of place in the heart of the midwest on Independence Day. Well, I guess we should just be glad it wasn’t the Confederate or the British flag, right?

I will leave you with this breathtaking photo of the fireworks we watched in the rain. Don’t worry. Soon, I’ll be posting a tutorial on how to capture awesome shots like this.

Oh, yeah, I’ve got skills…

Related posts:

1. Small-Town 4th of July Recap — Part I
2. The 2012 Small-Town 4th of July Parade Recap
3. There’s nothing like a small-town July 4th celebration