So I’m Cleaning My Bedroom After Work Today…

Is your bedroom a sanctuary?

A place where can go to get away from it all?

A place that you can enter and instantly feel your shoulders relax and your mind clear from all the clutter of the daily grind?

A place for you, and only you (well, and maybe your significant other)?

Is it?

Is it?

Mine?

Notsomuch.

Allow me to illustrate my point. The other evening I stayed up waaay too late doing bloggy stuff (Why else?), and Husband was already asleep when I finally made my way upstairs. So I tried to c r e e p into the bedroom and slip quietly into bed so I wouldn’t wake him. (Partly because I’m a nice wife, and partly because I didn’t want him to say, “What the heck were you doing until 1:00?”) I tried, I really did. But my bedroom turned against me.

First, I had to walk on the clean clothes that were once in neat piles and were now scattered across the floor, making a kind of multicolored, multi-textured rug. My arms were extended out at my sides as I tried to balance myself across the uneven terrain. Suddenly, I felt something hard underfoot. Then a voice echoed through the sleeping house.

“Hi, this is Mickey Mouse! You wanna come inside my clubhouse?”

Yes, I had stepped on the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse telephone. Why was it on my floor in the first place, you may wonder? For the same reason there’s a light saber in the doorway of my master bathroom and a pack of wild Webkinz living under my bed. My children are pigs.

Breathing a sigh of relief that Mickey’s booming voice hadn’t woken the family, I continued my perilous journey across the room.

Easy now, step… Another hesitant step…

OUCH!

What in the #%^!@ was that?!

Oh, of course, a LEGO! Why wasn’t I expecting that?

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw that Husband was lying on the bed, which had been totally stripped of its covers. Because he was hot? Not likely. The A/C was working overtime, and it was actually a little chilly. More likely? The boys had used our bed as their personal wrestling mat, as they do nearly every day. By the way, they have the cutest little name for the wrestling game they play: DEATHMATCH. Seriously, where did I go wrong???

Okay, so I threw the covers on the bed (Why Husband didn’t do this when he laid down, not sure. I guess he was waiting for me to “tuck him in.”) and found my pillow underneath the computer desk. I was soooo ready for bed.

Took a couple more steps—almost there. Sleep had never sounded so good.

Then, right before I climbed into bed, I took one last step and felt something hard hidden under the quilt that had been tossed on the floor.

Suddenly, it spoke to me.

“That was easy!”

No, Staples Easy Button, no.

That was definitely not easy.

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