That Sweet, Mild-Mannered Youngest Child (Insert Sarcasm Here)

Ahh, the youngest child. The one who’s supposed to be social, yet laid-back. The one who, although creative, is also able to go with the flow. I believe a friend even told me child #3 was “easy.”

Umm . . . yeah.

Does he look “easy” to you?

Yeah, didn’t think so.

It’s so not fair. My best friend also has three boys, similar ages to mine. Her youngest? The easiest to manage by far. I spent Sunday with my sisters, one of whom also has three kids. Her little #3? The sweetest, happiest, most agreeable baby ever.

So how come I have a feeling that MY #3 is going to be on a first-name basis with the principal after his first week of kindergarten?

We’ve already been having “issues” with Boy #3 at daycare because he periodically chooses not to follow directions and thinks it’s worth getting in trouble if he can get a laugh from the other kids in the process. Fabulous.

But Friday night proved to be both my most embarrassing parent moment to date, as well as solid affirmation that not sending Boy #3 to kindergarten this fall is most definitely the RIGHT decision.

Boy #3 got invited to his first birthday party, and it happened to be his best friend from daycare. After hearing about him on a daily basis, I was excited to finally meet his parents. So I dropped him off at 6:00, and he darted off as soon as we walked in the door. I introduced myself to Mom and Dad and noted with petty envy admiration how beautiful and CLEAN their home was, despite the fact that they have all boys as well. Then I took off to attend a graduation party with Husband and Boy #2.

At 8:00 I returned to the party and chatted with Mom. Turns out we used to live right down the street from one another about 6 years earlier. I told her that we’d have to invite her son over to play sometime since the boys really hit it off. Then we talked about how hard it was to arrange “play dates” with kids from daycare or school since you don’t know the parents. “I can’t imagine just sending my boys to play at someone’s house that we don’t know,” she said.

So here I was trying to be all “good mom” and “cool” with this drop-dead gorgeous mom in her magazine-spread home, and seemingly right on cue, Boy #3 started in.

“Mom, [Friend] said I could have this Pokemon card.”

“No, honey,” I said, “that was nice of him, but we’re not going to take his things.”

And that’s when Boy #3 went “Full Honyock” on me and erupted into the biggest temper tantrum any of my children have EVER had.

There was kicking. There was screaming.

“BUT I DON’T HAVE THAT POKEMON CARD!!! HE SAID I COULD HAVE IT!!! HE SAID I COULD HAVE IT!!!”

There were tears. There was hitting me in the face.

“I WANT THE CARD! I WANT THE CARD! I WANT IT!!! HE SAID I COULD HAVE IT!!!”

There were gasps of breath. There was coughing and choking.

There was Friend’s mom trying to ask Boy #3 where he left his goody bag so he could take it with him. There was Boy #3 completely ignoring Friend’s mom.

There were other parents I didn’t know staring at us.

There was me trying to calm him down and get his shoes on. There was Boy #3 crawling away from me and me pulling him back by the legs.

And the screaming—oh, the screaming!—It continued throughout this whole show.

Finally, there was me apologizing profusely to Friend’s mom and rushing out of their home with my tail between my legs (and a flailing preschooler in my arms).

After I wrestled with Boy #3 to get into his car seat and finally collapsed into the passenger seat, nearly in tears, Husband took off in the getaway car—and like the icing on the cake, Boy #2’s half-full can of pop, which for some reason was resting on the dash, flew off and dumped all over me.

I’m pretty sure Friend’s mom won’t be calling for a play date with Boy #3 anytime soon . . .

7 thoughts on “That Sweet, Mild-Mannered Youngest Child (Insert Sarcasm Here)”

  1. Oh Paula…I am sorry. Boo has never had the blow out temper tantrums before, but I have seen her cousins melt down many times. It is not fun to go through.

    I hope you got cleaned up, and got some “decompression” time…ie scream into a pillow.

  2. You are living my life. Scary. My #3’s nickname is Eddie Haskell – he’s that devious.

  3. Oh temper tantrums, I wish I could say my kids have never done that but they have.

    For some reason, our boy #3 always acts shy and innocent around people he doesn’t know.

    If only they lived with him.

    I always try to wait until we are going out the door to tell my children “no”. It may not be the right way to do it but it saves me some headaches.

  4. All children are massively different from each other. Despite the same set of genes and the same set of parents and the same environment, they manage to develop whoppingly different personalities.

    And I don’t believe in that birth order crap, any more than I believe in astrology.

  5. But he is SOOO cute and funny!! I love that photo!!! And sure, my #3 is cute and sweet NOW, but that could be buttering me up for some serious misbehaving in his future. And if it makes you feel any better, my #1 threw a HUGE temper tantrum at Michael’s when she was about 3 and I had to CHASE her through the store with my cart, around and around and around the same aisle, and other people gave me dirty looks. Then I had to drag her, screaming, from the checkout to the door with her feet dragging on the floor, and we knocked into some fake Christmas trees, too. If those other parents at the party are anything like me, they would be feeling super sorry for you, and would just be glad it was you, and not them this time!

  6. That picture is GREAT! My 3rd is hard too, but oh so sweet. It’s like “when she is good, she is very very good, and when she is bad, she is horrid.” 🙂

  7. Love your #3’s picture! Too cute for words! Temper tantrums suck and well, they do occur at the most inopportune moments. Whatever. What doesn’t kill us makes us strong, right? Something like that. LOL!!
    Well, on a happier note and because all moms need some good news to brighten their day-I have selected you as my second One Lovely Blog Award winner. Your posts are funnier than hell and let’s just say the I can relate factor is pretty high. So, on that note, you get to select 15 bloggers you would like to receive this award. I posted the rules under the award so feel free to grab the award from my page when you are ready to announce your award recipients. Congratulations!

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