It was a
dark and stormy nightpartly-cloudy and snowy afternoon when I began to innocently upload my photos from my camera onto my computer.
“Hmm..this is taking longer than I thought it would,” I said to myself.
(And a figurative and foreshadowing thunderclap shook the heavens at that exact moment.)
I hadn’t remembered taking that many pictures.
But it wasn’t until the uploading was complete and I began reviewing my photos that I realized…
My camera had been HIJACKED!
Egads! But who could it have been?
Someone was responsible for the 56 mystery photos of random household objects, including a computer screen, a snowman wall hanging, and…
…31 (yes—31!) photos of iCarly on Nickleodeon.
(I do love the photo of Spencer’s legs sticking out of the oven, however. I’d kill for those socks!)
But back to the story…
As I scrolled through photo after photo, my keen senses picked up on the fact that they had left me some clues. Some in the form of body parts.
Let’s see, do I know anyone who likes to wear shorts in the dead of winter in the Midwest? Hmm…
And I’m just hoping this is either a nostril or a mouth.
The hijackers also left me their faces, but in the form of clever disguise. I imagine if they were talking in these photos they’d have some creepy slowed-down robotic voice.
But it wasn’t until I saw this image that I started to get scared—real scared.
Was it some kind of threat? Did they want ransom money? Was it an omen of things to come???
As I trembled, one hand to my heart and the other ready to dial 911, I caught a break. Ah, yes, the hijackers had become a little too cocky. A little too confident. They got greedy. That’s right—once they started taking pictures, they couldn’t stop themselves. The joy of clicking overtook them, and they were consumed with the desire to be on the other end of the camera lens.
And this obsession, my friends, became their downfall.
Because the hijackers left me with enough evidence to put all the pieces together. (After all, I didn’t read all those Sherlock Holmes stories in college for nothing!)
And not unlike those stories of the man who robbed the convenience store after purchasing Funyuns and a taquito with his own credit card, my nephew and two youngest boys were busted.
Oh, smile those cool smiles, boys, but you won’t be flashing me the “peace” sign when you’re sent up the river doing 10 to 20…
“Elementary, my dear Internet friends.“
Moral of the story: Never leave your husband in charge when you have to leave for a haircut appointment and your 3-year-old nephew is coming over to play with your 4-year-old and 6-year-old sons.