Today’s "Things"

Things I MUST Do Today:
1. Go to Dahl’s and pick up black olives for Potato Day at work (in T-minus 61 minutes). (By the way, who likes black olives on potatoes? Blech!)
2. Find a way to connect Victorian literature to contemporary literature or media that teenagers will relate to. (Ideas anyone?)
3. Write 5 letters targeting top financial services producers for a broker management firm I freelance for.
4. Eat chocolate. (That’s a given.)
5. Check in on my mom-in-law, who’s having cataract surgery today. (Prayers for GmaWheezy!)
6. Feed my children supper. (Man, they are soooo demanding!)
7. Figure out what the heck to feed my children for supper.
8. Purchase the ingredients for whatever I will feed my children for supper.
9. Throw away the sticky fly trap that is very attractively hanging from our ceiling fan in the family room. I’m pretty sure I saw the same thing in the latest edition of Better Homes & Gardens. (We seem to have this tiny fly infestation, which is completely grossing me out.)
10. Call Verizon Wireless to bump up our calling plan since I used twice as many minutes as we’re allocated last month. (Whoops!)

Things I WANT To Do Today:
1. Call Molly Maid and have them just devote an entire week to cleaning up our hovel. (Free of charge, of course.)
2. Find a new therapist. (Yes, if you haven’t already figured it out, this chick’s got some issues.) If you’ve ever had to search for a therapist, you’ll understand how difficult this is. You go on Web sites, read the bios of the different doctors and counselors, and you try to figure out if they look and sound crazier than you are. Then you cross them off the list. Then if you’re like me, you find the ones whose favorite disorders to treat are about 75 different forms of sexual disorders or issues, including trans/gender issues. I definitely have no problems in this area, and frankly it creeps me out to think about going to a counselor who talks about and listens to sexual issues all day. So I then cross them off the list. This is a looooong process.
3. Find a dog trainer who will actually train our dog using the choke collar method. Not that I want to hurt my dog or anything (well, sometimes I do) but this is the only type of training that will work for our breed of dog, especially such a strong-willed dog such as we have, according to our breeder. But after asking about this at PetSmart last night, I thought they were going to call the Animal Rescue League on me and arrest me for animal cruelty! (Hmm…although prison does sound rather quiet and relaxing…)
4. Eat chocolate.
5. Buy a new computer that actually has a screen I can use and an airport card that doesn’t flake out at precisely the moment when I have the MOST freelance work to do at home. I don’t know, call me picky, but I’d like to have a laptop that’s actually PORTABLE.
6. Have time to read all of my favorite blogs and actually comment on them. Like An Iowa Mom and An Iowa Geek and Fritz Facts and The Mommy Diaries and A Trailer Park Mom and Trenches of Mommyhood and An Unpink Life and all my other lovelies…Sorry, girls, don’t mean to neglect you!
7. Check in to a hotel for 3 nights and do nothing but read the Bible, write, and catch up on my blogging. And then come home to a spotless house and three well-behaved boys. Oh, and a dog that doesn’t cause me grief. (I can always dream, can’t I?)
8. Figure out how the heck to make use of twitter and kirtsy and all of those other great sites and tools that I just don’t have time to think about.
9. Hear God speak to me, and KNOW he’s speaking to me.
10. Find out that I have a new best friend who I can feel comfortable inviting over when my house is a mess, or who knows when I need to just go out and have a coffee and talk.

Things I CAN’T Do Today:
1. Spend the whole day writing this post.
2. Go buy the new computer I want. (Curse youBless you, Dave!)
3. Eat ONLY chocolate.
4. Work late, even though I need to. (Husband is taking his “mathletes” to Omaha after school. Goooo team! Factor those integers! Square their roots!)
5. Convince my fifth grader, it seems, that he’s NOT a teenager yet. (Would YOU let a 10-year-old boy go to a movie with a boy and another girl who he calls his “girlfriend,” even if the parents are also going?)
6. Get all of my housework done. Or even ANY of it, I’m betting.
7. Fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a pirate.
8. Concentrate on work, apparently!
9. See my BFF, who I haven’t seen for 6 months and who lives 2 hours away.
10. Forget to thank you all for bringing so much joy to my life! (Yes, I’m talking to you!) Thanks for commenting, and if you don’t comment, thanks for reading! It makes me feel good just knowing you’re there!


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