What I Learned This Week, Vol. 2

Some weeks seem to drift by comfortably, like you’re riding on a raft down a lazy river.

Other weeks? Well, it’s more like you’re flying feet-first at about Mach 30 down The Tower of Terror at the local water park. And about halfway down the waterslide the extreme G-force rips the top of your bikini right off so you’re not only screaming and drenched, but now your exposed ta-tas are causing children to snicker and grown men to cry.

My week’s been more like the second scenario—but fortunately minus the peep show. (And no, I don’t really wear a bikini. It’s okay; you can breathe a sigh of relief.)

So in honor of this crazy week, I give you What I Learned This Week, Vol. 2.

1. 11-year-old Little League is unpredictable. Boy #1 started the city tournament on Monday. Husband is his coach, and they have some really great kids on the team. But they kind of remind me of that poem about the little girl who had a little curl…Because when they were good, they were really, really good, but when they were bad, they were horrid. Well, we ending up winning a nail-biter on Monday night, 3–2, and the boys were sooo excited. One particular boy who is not what you’d call “athletically inclined” and we’re pretty sure has some other social development issues even caught a fly ball in left field! His very first catch of the season. It was so heartwarming to hear the boys yell and clap for him! He even did a couple fist pumps in the air! So our second game was Wednesday night, and we were playing a team we had previously beaten 9–3. Yeah…not quite this time, boys. Final score? 17–0 in the 4th inning. Ouch.

2. If your 4-year-old’s been complaining that his “weg hurts” every day for the past month or so, it’s quite possible that his leg really does hurt. Yes, it finally dawned on me that maybe I shouldn’t just assume that he’s making it up because he’s tired or wants some attention. Since it was always the same leg, in the same place and all. So I made an appointment Friday morning with our pediatrician, who was a little concerned that it was only one leg and the location was consistent each complaint. Doc ordered blood tests and X-Rays just to make sure he didn’t miss something, which makes me feel good about ruling things out. But it did mean I had to put Boy #3 through a rather traumatic morning. See #3...

3. 4-year-olds and needles have a hate/hate relationship. Oh, yeah, I knew when Doc said he wanted to take some blood that it wasn’t going to be pretty. I tried to distract Boy #3 with a book about bugs while the nurse came in, put on her plastic gloves, and started feeling around his arms. However, it was no longer possible to distract him when I had to literally lay on top of him on the padded table and hold down his shoulders while the nurse tried to find a vein and then wait for her little vial to fill up with the required amount of blood. Yeah, by then he was on to us.

4. If you pay $4.29 for a box of snack mix for your 7-year-old to eat at his brother’s ball game (because that’s the kind he really really wanted), he will spill 3/4 of the box under the bleachers. And then he’ll try to pick it up off the dirt- and spit-out-sunflower-seed-strewn concrete and eat it. And he’ll be really, really mad at you for telling him no.
5. Magic tricks are timeless—for little kids. On Tuesday our public library sponsored a program that featured a magician. I don’t know about you, but I think magicians are all a little “off.” The really old guys are kind of cute and charming, but if they’re in their 30s or 40s—and wearing a pink shirt, light blue pants and yellow suspenders—I can’t help but think that they’re a few cards shy of a full deck. But regardless of the fact that I’m trying not to picture him as a serial killer as I watch him make a shoe disappear, the kids loved him. It’s amazing how timeless some of these tricks are. He did the whole “flea circus” bit, as well as the “levitating table” and a whole arsenal of card tricks. My boys fell—hook, line, and sinker—for every trick, and at one point I heard each of my two youngest kids say they wanted to be a magician when they grew up. “Please, God, NO!”“Sure, you could be a magician!” I replied encouragingly between clenched teeth. Now we have three signed photos of this guy (because he insisted that I needed one too), and it’s creeping me out because it’s like he’s looking at me out of the corner of his eye with this sly, guilty look. AND I’ve had to act astonished for about 795 card tricks that Boy #2 has performed this week, many of which involve him saying, “Okay close your eyes,” and then arranging his cards in the “magical” order.

6. Chasing a dog around the neighborhood for an hour while your supper gets cold is not really fun. Especially when he taunts you by zooming right by you, close enough that you can touch his fur but not get ahold of his collar. Husband finally captured him after he jumped into a neighbor’s pool—when their little girls were swimming. And we’d never met these neighbors before. Fabulous first impression, don’t you think?

7. Twitter is funny. I got an email yesterday saying that Cesar Millan is following me. Yes, The Dog Whisperer. How cool am I? Okay, so he’s following 26,560 other people too and I’m sure the only reason he’s following me is because I tweeted a request for a dog trainer in my area, but still . . .

8. Being a blogger comes with some pretty sweet perks. This week I was sent a free humongo bottle of All Small & Mighty laundry detergent, which is awesome because that’s what I already use! It is supposed to do 96 loads of laundry! I think I’m going to count how many loads I can get out of it. And along with the All, I received a GORGEOUS Hayden-Harnett bag. Here’s a picture of it. Why, you ask, did I receive these lovely products? Just cuz I blog. Hmm…okay, I guess you can send me FREE STUFF just for doing something I love to do anyway… TWIST MY ARM!

So that’s what I learned this week. Here’s hoping next week is full of calmer waters! Head on over to Musings of a Housewife to see what others learned this week!


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